The Shakespeare Conference: SHK 14.1028 Saturday, 31 May 2003
Date: Saturday, 24 May 2003 11:30:40 -0400
Subject: Lorne Elliot on Shakespeare
Canadian comedian Lorne Elliot has composed the following abridgements.
THE PLOT OF HAMLET
Hamlet's Mom, she married the bum
who killed his Dad, so he faked being mad
Drove his would-be bride to suicide
which made him madder; then he,
After much pandemanium, chatted to a cranium,
Put on a play, commenced to slay
All his enemies who fin'ly killed him too
To Be Or Not To Be.
ROMEO AND JULIETTE IN TWO LIMERICKS
Romeo and Juliette got all sappy
which made their families unhappy
So they thought up a plan
To help this out and
Sure enough things turned out crappy
He faked taking poison one night
Julliette, upon seeing this sight
killed HERself. He came to
Did Likewise. Boo hoo
Teenagers were NEVER that bright.
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