The Shakespeare Conference: SHK 14.1028  Saturday, 31 May 2003

From:           John Ramsay <
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Date:           Saturday, 24 May 2003 11:30:40 -0400
Subject:        Lorne Elliot on Shakespeare

Canadian comedian Lorne Elliot has composed the following abridgements.

John Ramsay

THE PLOT OF HAMLET

      Hamlet's Mom, she married the bum
      who killed his Dad, so he faked being mad
      Drove his would-be bride to suicide
      which made him madder; then he,
      After much pandemanium, chatted to a cranium,
      Put on a play, commenced to slay
      All his enemies who fin'ly killed him too
      To Be Or Not To Be.

      ROMEO AND JULIETTE IN TWO LIMERICKS

      Romeo and Juliette got all sappy
      which made their families unhappy
      So they thought up a plan
      To help this out and
      Sure enough things turned out crappy

      He faked taking poison one night
      Julliette, upon seeing this sight
      killed HERself. He came to
      Did Likewise. Boo hoo
      Teenagers were NEVER that bright.

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