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Home :: Archive :: 2004 :: April ::
Shakespeare Does Spam!
The Shakespeare Conference: SHK 15.0963  Tuesday, 27 April 2004

From:           Al Magary <
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 >
Date:           Monday, 26 Apr 2004 14:15:45 -0700
Subject: 15.0921 Shakespeare Does Spam!
Comment:        Re: SHK 15.0921 Shakespeare Does Spam!

A bit more on this thread before Hardy cancels my subscription. A web
photography site called Worth 1000 (http://www.worth1000.com) runs
occasional text contests, and one, "If Shakespeare Ruled," invited folks
to redo popular TV episodes.  Fans of Monty Python will recognize the
skit this parody is based on (http://www.detritus.org/spam/skit.html ;
includes the Python audio).

SADDLES THAT BLAZETH
by Spook
http://www.worth1000.com/cache/contest/contestcache.asp?contest_id=1754&start=1&end=10&display=text

Lord:
Pray sittest thou here, good wife.

Lady:
I'faith, I shall.

Lord:
Good morrow, fair tavern wench.

Servant:
Good morrow, m'lord.

Lord:
What vivands does thy humble kitchen serve?

Servant:
Egg and bacon, egg sausage and bacon/
Egg and spam; egg bacon and Spam; egg bacon/
Egg sausage and Spam; Spam bacon sausage /
And Spam; Spam egg Spam Spam bacon and Spam; Spam /
Sausage Spam Spam bacon Spam tomato and Spam/

Danes:
Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam

Servant:
Spam Spam Spam egg and Spam; Spam Spam Spam Spam
Spam Spam Spam baked beans Spam Spam Spam and Spam

Danes:
Spam! Glorious Spam! Aweful Spam!

Servant:
Also a Thermidorian Pincer/
In sauce Mornay, served as a Southern Frog/
Shallot and aubergine, truffle pate/
Brandied wine, 'neath one fried egg and Spam.

Lady:
Servest thou victuals absent of Spam?

Servant:
Spam, eggs, sausage, and spam, like summer's morn
Lacks much to fill the paunch and pad the ribs.

Lady:
Thou bugbear, I desire not such fare.

Lord:
She liketh not the spam. Might she therefore/
Partake of egg bacon spam and sausage?

Lady:
Marry, that be true, it is least of all
Yet it be full-brimm'd still with the knave's meat.

Lord:
Yea, verily, it waxes in fullness/
But not as spam, eggs, sausage, and spam.

Lady:
Might you serve egg, bacon, spam and sausage/
In total absence of the hated Spam?

Servant:
Bleeeeeeeeeeeeh.

Lady:
What meanest though, bleeeh? The meanest villain/
Knows of my distaste for glutinous fare.

Danes:
Bountiful Spam! Vaunted Spam!

Servant:
Cease that racket, thou jolt-livered bunions.

Danes:
Beautiful Spam! Lovely Spam!

Servant:
Silence! Thy toad-tongued song grates on the ear.
Thou cans't not eat a plate wanting of Spam.

Lady:
I don't like Spam!

Lord:
Quiet, good wife, cause not a great ado/
Since Spam offends thy palate, yours I shall/
Remove, and revel in the consumption./
In bounding pleasure, I shall eat Spam, Spam/
Spam, Spam, Spam baked beans, Spam, Spam, and Spam.

Danes:
Glorious Spam! Aweful Spam!

Servant:
Silence! The lentil-pot be empty, sir.

Lord:
Fair wench, might I have Spam in lentil's place?

Servant:
My lord wants Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam

All: (singing) Spam Spam Spam Spam
Lovely spam! Bountiful spam!
Spaaaaaaaaaaaam! Spaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaam!
Wonderful Spam! Glorious Spam!
Spam, Spam, Spam, Spaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaam.

Conveyed by
Al Magary
(exposed to too much Hall, I expect)

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