The Shakespeare Conference: SHK 15.0963 Tuesday, 27 April 2004
From: Al Magary <
Date: Monday, 26 Apr 2004 14:15:45 -0700
Subject: 15.0921 Shakespeare Does Spam!
Comment: Re: SHK 15.0921 Shakespeare Does Spam!
A bit more on this thread before Hardy cancels my subscription. A web
photography site called Worth 1000 (http://www.worth1000.com) runs
occasional text contests, and one, "If Shakespeare Ruled," invited folks
to redo popular TV episodes. Fans of Monty Python will recognize the
skit this parody is based on (http://www.detritus.org/spam/skit.html ;
includes the Python audio).
SADDLES THAT BLAZETH
Pray sittest thou here, good wife.
I'faith, I shall.
Good morrow, fair tavern wench.
Good morrow, m'lord.
What vivands does thy humble kitchen serve?
Egg and bacon, egg sausage and bacon/
Egg and spam; egg bacon and Spam; egg bacon/
Egg sausage and Spam; Spam bacon sausage /
And Spam; Spam egg Spam Spam bacon and Spam; Spam /
Sausage Spam Spam bacon Spam tomato and Spam/
Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam
Spam Spam Spam egg and Spam; Spam Spam Spam Spam
Spam Spam Spam baked beans Spam Spam Spam and Spam
Spam! Glorious Spam! Aweful Spam!
Also a Thermidorian Pincer/
In sauce Mornay, served as a Southern Frog/
Shallot and aubergine, truffle pate/
Brandied wine, 'neath one fried egg and Spam.
Servest thou victuals absent of Spam?
Spam, eggs, sausage, and spam, like summer's morn
Lacks much to fill the paunch and pad the ribs.
Thou bugbear, I desire not such fare.
She liketh not the spam. Might she therefore/
Partake of egg bacon spam and sausage?
Marry, that be true, it is least of all
Yet it be full-brimm'd still with the knave's meat.
Yea, verily, it waxes in fullness/
But not as spam, eggs, sausage, and spam.
Might you serve egg, bacon, spam and sausage/
In total absence of the hated Spam?
What meanest though, bleeeh? The meanest villain/
Knows of my distaste for glutinous fare.
Bountiful Spam! Vaunted Spam!
Cease that racket, thou jolt-livered bunions.
Beautiful Spam! Lovely Spam!
Silence! Thy toad-tongued song grates on the ear.
Thou cans't not eat a plate wanting of Spam.
I don't like Spam!
Quiet, good wife, cause not a great ado/
Since Spam offends thy palate, yours I shall/
Remove, and revel in the consumption./
In bounding pleasure, I shall eat Spam, Spam/
Spam, Spam, Spam baked beans, Spam, Spam, and Spam.
Glorious Spam! Aweful Spam!
Silence! The lentil-pot be empty, sir.
Fair wench, might I have Spam in lentil's place?
My lord wants Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam
All: (singing) Spam Spam Spam Spam
Lovely spam! Bountiful spam!
Wonderful Spam! Glorious Spam!
Spam, Spam, Spam, Spaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaam.
(exposed to too much Hall, I expect)
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